Guess who will be living on her own next year?
My dad used to joke (or so I’d like to think that he’s joking but he probably never did lel) whenever I bring up the idea of moving out. He would tell each one of his children, especially the “rebellious” one *cough me cough*, that none of us would move out of his household, even when we’re all in our 30s, unless we’re married. Now, you gotta understand my dad – he’s the most loving person I know, and that is the only reason why he’d want us to stick around for as long as we can. And I really appreciate him for that. I grew from wanting to leave as soon as I turned 18 to wanting to be an adult that he could trust, an ally. And I especially love family trips because it means we get to spend time together, something that I haven’t been able to do since my schedule wouldn’t allow me so. But now, in two weeks’ time, they’d be moving back to Kuching.
Yes, you read that correctly. Exactly two weeks from today, on the 23rd of December, my family (and I) will be flying down to Kuching. We won’t be moving in right away as we’ll be spending Christmas at the longhouse with grandma and cousins and aunties and uncles. And then we’d be spending some of our days at a hotel, compliments from my dad’s company. Only then we’d be moving in.
My dad got his transfer of letter a few months ago. He was due to move in October, exactly 7 years after moving to KL from Bintulu. I remember the day my dad got his transfer letter to KL; I had mixed emotions about it. Partly sad because my dad would have to fly first while the rest of us had to stay back until I was done with PMR. I remember the day the truck came to get our stuff. I remember two guys. I remember after they were done, they asked my mom if they could take a shower at the guest bathroom at the back. I remember the amount of sadness floating in the air upon take off, leaving behind all the familiarities. I remember my mom crying because one of her “anak angkat” sent her countless amount of crying emojies.
I remember my dad picking us up, booked a van for the six of us and all of our stuffs. I remember my mom telling us not to look so sakai, in awe of the skyscrapers in the heart of KL. I remember the nervous face the four of us had when we were in the van, on the way to our hotel. I remember the our little room, with only 2 queen beds to fit the 6 of us plus our boxes and luggages. I remember my dad took us to KLCC. The 14th of November was the day we moved into our first home in Taman Mayang Jaya. It was a single-storey house with 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. We slept on the floor in the living room, with only our clothes as our blankets, “mattresses” and “pillows” for almost 3 weeks. I remember cooking on our little portable stove, with enough gas to last us maybe two weeks to feed 6 mouths. I remember the night our stuff finally arrived, and a different night when our cars arrived. We stayed only for a year because the owner wanted to sell off the house.
We moved into a double-storey house in SS4 and stayed for 2 years. We’ve found a little apartment we’ve called our home for the past 4 years now back in the same neighbourhood. Soon, it will feel empty and quiet. When I call out mama, no one will answer back. I won’t be able to tease my little sister any more on the silliest things. I won’t laugh at funny pictures with my second brother, and I certainly won’t be able to work with my ever-countable partner-in-crime first brother. No more politics and Christianity talks with my dad. Well, this could only mean that I’ll have a lot to catch up on whenever I’m back in Kuching, or every time they come to visit me here in KL.
Now, as my family is busy packing things and I’m counting down to the days when everything would finally feel real in my hands, I’m counting my blessing. I’m grateful that I’ve grown up so much the last 7 years. My perspectives and my way of living changed tremendously. I’m still a little but stubborn, but this time I’m not afraid to make mistakes. I learn to trust my gut even more, and I’m opened to all sorts of ideas. I’m not as easily angered as I used to or would break down emotionally when things get tough, but I still have a lot more to go with patience. I’ve definitely gained a lot of weight lol but I’ve never been happier, especially when I’ve always struggle with the way I look growing up. I also have learned how to filter the negative things people say to and about me. To me, this is something only the big(ger) city can do.
So my only wishes to my family once they settled in their new/old life back in Kuching is to not be contained back in a box. Always be opened to changes, new possibilities, exciting opportunities. Never ever settle for comfort. I find that “the box” is something that took me awhile to get out of since living in KL/PJ. Things won’t always go my way, and it won’t be the end of the world when it does. I learned (and still is learning) to grow out of my comfort, experience new foods, adventures and even culture. Sarawak is home, and thus automatically make you succumb to comfort. And I hope especially my growing siblings that they’d be opened to new ideas. When there is a will, there is a way.
Here’s to a new life – one that I am happy to call aunty life – paying household bills, collecting recipes, browsing on household appliances, and doing chores. Here’s to hoping that I will finally have better discipline to complete my goals. lol